News-Letter

Botox: Everyone's got it. Terri Hatcher's got it. Kathy Griffin's got it. Hell, even Axl Rose has got it! Certainly a college freshman who doesn't look a day over 16 is eligible for, and could surely benefit from, a couple injections of America's most famous pharmaceutical.

At least that's what I thought when I attended the Botox Symposium in Hampden last Friday. However, after about an hour at Kiss n' Makeup, the Avenue cosmetics boutique that hosted the event, my mind was made up to the contrary.

The Symposium was a casual affair, attended by a strange combination of prissy, appearance-obsessed women and scruffy, neighboring Hampden shop owners who seemed to be there mainly for the wine and cheese. Shortly after arriving, I was approached by Heidi, the "Friendly Botox Rep" (as the event's invitation called her) with a suspicious lack of surname. Heidi lived up to her description by being very pleasant, and she was eager to tell me about the exciting world of this ever-more common cosmetic procedure.

"Botox," Heidi said, "is a muscle relaxant. It has been used to treat babies born with club feet, as well as cervical dystonia (a condition involving the involuntary contraction of neck and head muscles). Cosmetically, Botox injections reduce the contraction of the facial muscles responsible for creating wrinkles and creases." Basically, since its approval by the FDA in 2002, Botox has allowed people to, in an almost Brave New World way, sacrifice the ability of facial expression for extended youth. Heidi assured me the firm she represented was moderate in its administration of the drug, to avoid that "Nicole Kidman surprised-look," but I began to think that maybe her seemingly cheery disposition was not from the wine.

"The procedure itself is quick and painless," she said, speaking from experience. In fact, a Botox session is so rapid (usually lasting only 10 minutes, with no downtime afterward) that people have called it the "lunchtime face-lift." A typical procedure involves just a few tiny injections of minute amounts of Botox, which Heidi compared to a series of insect bites, in key locations in the face. Ten minutes? Minimal pain? As far as rejuvenating activities go, Botox was beginning to sound a lot easier than going to the dentist or working out. That's when Heidi unveiled the catch: Botox is temporary, and patients usually go for new injections every three to six months, since the effect tends to wear off by then.

The frequency with which Botox is renewed has led to allegations of the procedure's addictive nature. A recent British study showed that four out of 10 people who receive regular Botox injections two to four times a year have a compulsive motive for doing so. Botox has a psychological effect on these people: In addition to looking younger, they report feeling younger. In England, some have begun exploiting this need for mental rejuvenation. The "Biker-Botox" program, for example, involves motorcycle-riding doctors making house-calls to administer injections more conveniently than any dealer with a fix.

The underlying chemical in Botox is botulinum toxin type A. Toxin. That connotes toxicity, right? "Botox is perfectly safe and has been approved by the FDA," Heidi said. "The most common side effects are temporary eyelid droop and nausea." It turns out, though, that Botox has some skeletons in the closet, and a scary history that Heidi did not reveal. In the late 1800s, botulinum toxin was known as "sausage poison" for its tendency to cause food poisoning in badly handled meat products. During the 20th century, the chemical's lethality was exploited, and it was used in grenades in World War II. In the 1960s the CIA laced cigars with Botox as part of a plot to assassinate Fidel Castro. It was discovered in the 1980s that small amounts of the drug could act as a muscle relaxant causing little to no immediate harm, but some scientists maintain Botox has not been used long enough to accurately determine its carcinogenic or fatal effects.

OK, so Botox may not be entirely safe, but then again what is? Indeed, Botox is a much safer method to looking and feeling young again than, say, riding a motorcycle and smoking cigarettes. But is it cheaper? Heidi, like any good saleswoman, remained ambiguous about her product's price, telling me the cost varies depending on the patient. But cosmetic procedures are not known to be cheap, and Botox, it so happens, can sometimes cost up to $1,000 per session! That's more than a junkie pays for a speedball! That means Botox could be costing some very dedicated patients around $3,000 per year for as long as they undergo the treatment, which may be from the time they are 30 until they die. For that kind of money you could fund an expedition to the Fountain of Youth.

The most striking aspect of the symposium was the crowd. Susan B. Anthony must be spinning in her grave: Not only were the women objectifying themselves, they were objectifying each other.

"Look at that line in her cheek," one woman said of her adolescent daughter, as if pointing out the flaws in the younger generation would somehow refresh her own.

"Oh, you need to get those creases in your nose filled," another woman said to her friend. It was like being in that scene of Brazil where all the women go to get their faces lifted, but they still look and act horribly afterward. Some of the women there had gotten Botox done, others were interested in it, but all of them were missing the point that it doesn't matter how young you look, nothing can mask the type of bitterness and vanity that only comes with age.

The only people there not overcome by Botox-mania were the Hampdenites, who were probably all wondering what a Botox Symposium was doing in their neighborhood notorious for its emphasis on personality. After my chat with Heidi, I joined them in the corner for some hors d'oeuvres, confident that when my mid-life crisis comes around, I'll probably just pick up a Harley and a pack of Marlboros.

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