Spring Break
With society turning a blind eye, why the hullabaloo over the phrase "Pre-Marital" sex?
Issue date: 9/20/07
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It seems to me that the term "pre-marital sex" is no longer very accurate. A more accurate description of this intercourse would be "extra-marital."
Certainly this kind of sex is outside of any kind of legal, permanent union — but because it doesn't precipitate that union, it can't really be considered as the precursor to marriage.
Of the 50 or more people whose sexual histories I am familiar with, only one of them has had a sexual encounter that led to marriage. It's still being debated whether she got pregnant to "trap" him, but it led to a marriage nonetheless. Realistically sex rarely, if ever, directly leads marriage. Personally, none of my sexual encounters have led to marriage.
Enter "pre-marital sex" into a search engine, and you'll find that the majority of Web sites using the term are Christian Web sites advocating abstinence. Many of these Web sites cite statistics like "it's not everyone: only one-third of people surveyed are having pre-marital sex," and make claims about how pre-marital sex leads to many more cases of domestic violence, hospitalizations from date-rape drugs, economic booms for pregnancy test companies and demands for more variety in lubricants.
These same Web sites cite studies that show the "devastating psychological effects of promiscuity" and list horrifying stories (including guys crying alone in the locker room as well as girls going to the ER with various household object issues). The problem with all of these righteous sites is that not one of them has any kind of bibliography or footnotes. If the rule is you only have to cite things that aren't common knowledge, I must be terribly misinformed.
I'm not comfortable blaming domestic violence on "pre-marital" sex — I'd rather blame it on men who can't control themselves. I'm also not thrilled that sexual liberation is being blamed for creating people who see rape as a viable alternative to 'normal' sexual behavior.
Society, or at least American society, is increasingly accepting of extra-marital sex. Today there are entire television shows focusing on the libertine lifestyle, and there are some interesting statistics out there. In the average soap opera, "pre-marital" sex is referred to or acted out two to three times per episode. My favorites are when they have sex 1.5 times — the tension is palpable.
Certainly this kind of sex is outside of any kind of legal, permanent union — but because it doesn't precipitate that union, it can't really be considered as the precursor to marriage.
Of the 50 or more people whose sexual histories I am familiar with, only one of them has had a sexual encounter that led to marriage. It's still being debated whether she got pregnant to "trap" him, but it led to a marriage nonetheless. Realistically sex rarely, if ever, directly leads marriage. Personally, none of my sexual encounters have led to marriage.
Enter "pre-marital sex" into a search engine, and you'll find that the majority of Web sites using the term are Christian Web sites advocating abstinence. Many of these Web sites cite statistics like "it's not everyone: only one-third of people surveyed are having pre-marital sex," and make claims about how pre-marital sex leads to many more cases of domestic violence, hospitalizations from date-rape drugs, economic booms for pregnancy test companies and demands for more variety in lubricants.
These same Web sites cite studies that show the "devastating psychological effects of promiscuity" and list horrifying stories (including guys crying alone in the locker room as well as girls going to the ER with various household object issues). The problem with all of these righteous sites is that not one of them has any kind of bibliography or footnotes. If the rule is you only have to cite things that aren't common knowledge, I must be terribly misinformed.
I'm not comfortable blaming domestic violence on "pre-marital" sex — I'd rather blame it on men who can't control themselves. I'm also not thrilled that sexual liberation is being blamed for creating people who see rape as a viable alternative to 'normal' sexual behavior.
Society, or at least American society, is increasingly accepting of extra-marital sex. Today there are entire television shows focusing on the libertine lifestyle, and there are some interesting statistics out there. In the average soap opera, "pre-marital" sex is referred to or acted out two to three times per episode. My favorites are when they have sex 1.5 times — the tension is palpable.
Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 3
Kristin
posted 9/30/07 @ 3:41 PM EST
It is not only Christian people that decide to wait until they are married to have sex. It is a choice based on the morals of each individual. In my opinion, it is sacred and meant for two people to share. (Continued…)
Mike
posted 10/01/07 @ 4:53 PM EST
When attacking websites for their content, particularly when attacking them for failing to cite their sources, it would seem natural to mention which websites. (Continued…)
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