Do it once more, for old time's sake
Break-up sex is a great opportunity for girls to reach orgasm and leave. Don't be tricked by the endorphins that tell you to stay and cuddle. You don't have to wait for him to climax - you've been catering to his needs long enough. Get up and leave. If you do both orgasm, leave soon afterwards. Do the thing you see in movies: Hang on to that happy feeling for 10 seconds, then start getting dressed. Leave. Even if you live together, leave.
As is the rule with any breakup, do not call the next day after break-up sex.
You'll sound six or seven times as desperate as you did during the breakup, and it should be clear that s/he isn't coming back. In case you weren't aware, the chances of them coming back increase if you are happy, single and carefree.
One last tip: Don't be afraid to go for the indie movie sex. Break up while sitting on opposite ends of a couch, and then have sex right there on said couch.
Don't worry about artfully tossing your clothes to the floor, that's for happy indie movie sex. Everyone should get a chance to have sex on a couch full of hate.
As is the rule with any breakup, do not call the next day after break-up sex.
You'll sound six or seven times as desperate as you did during the breakup, and it should be clear that s/he isn't coming back. In case you weren't aware, the chances of them coming back increase if you are happy, single and carefree.
One last tip: Don't be afraid to go for the indie movie sex. Break up while sitting on opposite ends of a couch, and then have sex right there on said couch.
Don't worry about artfully tossing your clothes to the floor, that's for happy indie movie sex. Everyone should get a chance to have sex on a couch full of hate.
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Forsaken
posted 10/25/08 @ 5:17 PM EST
Hilarious...all exactly true!!!
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