Spring Break
Hopkins guys without any game
Issue date: 3/6/08
7. The Guy Who Thinks Drinking Too Much Makes Him Macho
Boys, stop trying to out-drink me. My Eastern European blood gives me an advantage. I know you're a frat boy and I'm "just a girl," but ... c'mon. Seriously. Minus a hundred points for throwing up anywhere in my vicinity. Or in a water fountain. Or on your lap. In a car. Off the side of a holy building on an Intersession field trip ... Furthermore, I am not bad at beer pong, and "you don't have a schlong" isn't a good enough excuse for why I can't play next game.
6. The Athlete Who Thinks his Biceps are Enough to Woo You
Steroids often have side effects involving an increase of estrogen in men. I may not know anything about how much protein to put in my shake, but I can put two and two together. I'm supposed to be the one with breasts, not you. (The same goes for those who spend too much time in FFC. At this stage in my life, I would like to be the only one in my bed with knockers.) We've all had about enough of the guys who think their bods are totally hot.
5. The BME Who Thinks We Care About his MCAT Score
I know you worked hard, and as a student I appreciate the time and effort you put into studying for the MCATs, but in reality, and I think I can speak for most of woman-kind here, hearing about your high test scores is not a turn on. We've all had about enough of the guys who think their grades are totally hot.
4. Facebook Stalkers ...
You friended me on Facebook the day after I got my acceptance letter, and I was stupid enough to put my room in the AMRs in my location information. When you follow me home, do NOT think that I'll judge your coolness by how many other freshman girls you were able to friend. You're a creepy senior, and you should definitely leave me alone. Forever.
3. The Frat Boy Who Thinks He Has the Right to Have Your Body Just Because He Wears Letters
I'm Greek and I wear letters, but I know that it doesn't give me the right to walk up to you and start fiddling with your button fly. (And on that note: Guys who wear pants with button flies, period.)
Boys, stop trying to out-drink me. My Eastern European blood gives me an advantage. I know you're a frat boy and I'm "just a girl," but ... c'mon. Seriously. Minus a hundred points for throwing up anywhere in my vicinity. Or in a water fountain. Or on your lap. In a car. Off the side of a holy building on an Intersession field trip ... Furthermore, I am not bad at beer pong, and "you don't have a schlong" isn't a good enough excuse for why I can't play next game.
6. The Athlete Who Thinks his Biceps are Enough to Woo You
Steroids often have side effects involving an increase of estrogen in men. I may not know anything about how much protein to put in my shake, but I can put two and two together. I'm supposed to be the one with breasts, not you. (The same goes for those who spend too much time in FFC. At this stage in my life, I would like to be the only one in my bed with knockers.) We've all had about enough of the guys who think their bods are totally hot.
5. The BME Who Thinks We Care About his MCAT Score
I know you worked hard, and as a student I appreciate the time and effort you put into studying for the MCATs, but in reality, and I think I can speak for most of woman-kind here, hearing about your high test scores is not a turn on. We've all had about enough of the guys who think their grades are totally hot.
4. Facebook Stalkers ...
You friended me on Facebook the day after I got my acceptance letter, and I was stupid enough to put my room in the AMRs in my location information. When you follow me home, do NOT think that I'll judge your coolness by how many other freshman girls you were able to friend. You're a creepy senior, and you should definitely leave me alone. Forever.
3. The Frat Boy Who Thinks He Has the Right to Have Your Body Just Because He Wears Letters
I'm Greek and I wear letters, but I know that it doesn't give me the right to walk up to you and start fiddling with your button fly. (And on that note: Guys who wear pants with button flies, period.)
Viewing Comments 1 - 5 of 7
vikki
posted 3/07/08 @ 4:23 PM EST
this is awesome!!!! give this girl her own column!!!!!
John Cravings
posted 3/07/08 @ 4:25 PM EST
Funny points - well written.
class of 2012
posted 3/08/08 @ 6:25 PM EST
Are all hopkins guys this gross??
Fibs
posted 3/10/08 @ 12:18 AM EST
SARAH FEINMARK NEEDS HER OWN COLUMN INDEEEED!
Sarah
posted 3/10/08 @ 2:16 PM EST
To all of the boys I offended:
just pretend that this article doesn't apply to you!
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