Spring Break
What women really want: the Alpha male
Guest Column
Issue date: 5/1/08
There is a lot of advice out there about what guys should do or say when trying to attract a girl.
Compliment her - but not too much, or you'll seem desperate. Call after three days, or four - or don't play those games at all.
Be cocky and tell jokes - or do everything to avoid looking like a clown.
It's far too much for anyone to remember in any practical application.
What's more, it's generally useless advice. At worst, it's counterproductive.
Fortunately, we don't have to give up. As in any other conundrum, science is the answer to all our problems.
To get their genes passed on, girls have two goals, ingrained in their psyches by evolution.
First, they want a guy who will produce pretty, healthy babies. Second, they seek a man who will make sure that their babies survive the trials of the wild to pass on those genes again.
In contrast, men only want the pretty, healthy babies; they will then be responsible themselves for fighting off the saber-toothed tigers.
What men truly cannot understand is this attraction to power, even though they hear about it all the time. The powerful man, the leader of others, has throughout the eons had his children survive while others' didn't.
The trick is to translate this hard-wire attraction into everyday action.
Instead of having a thousand little rules, all you have to remember is that in every situation you want to be the Alpha male.
For example, let's say you're out with a group of friends. Some drunken jackass starts getting belligerent, and you think it might come to blows.
In general, violence is not attractive to girls. So if you lose your temper and hit the guy first, you lose major points.
If, however, you step between your best friend and the guy who has already started swinging and place a quick jab in his jaw, you are as cool as Ryan from The OC.
Where's the difference? When you swing first, you are putting yourself and your friends in unnecessary danger, lowering your value to the social circle.
Compliment her - but not too much, or you'll seem desperate. Call after three days, or four - or don't play those games at all.
Be cocky and tell jokes - or do everything to avoid looking like a clown.
It's far too much for anyone to remember in any practical application.
What's more, it's generally useless advice. At worst, it's counterproductive.
Fortunately, we don't have to give up. As in any other conundrum, science is the answer to all our problems.
To get their genes passed on, girls have two goals, ingrained in their psyches by evolution.
First, they want a guy who will produce pretty, healthy babies. Second, they seek a man who will make sure that their babies survive the trials of the wild to pass on those genes again.
In contrast, men only want the pretty, healthy babies; they will then be responsible themselves for fighting off the saber-toothed tigers.
What men truly cannot understand is this attraction to power, even though they hear about it all the time. The powerful man, the leader of others, has throughout the eons had his children survive while others' didn't.
The trick is to translate this hard-wire attraction into everyday action.
Instead of having a thousand little rules, all you have to remember is that in every situation you want to be the Alpha male.
For example, let's say you're out with a group of friends. Some drunken jackass starts getting belligerent, and you think it might come to blows.
In general, violence is not attractive to girls. So if you lose your temper and hit the guy first, you lose major points.
If, however, you step between your best friend and the guy who has already started swinging and place a quick jab in his jaw, you are as cool as Ryan from The OC.
Where's the difference? When you swing first, you are putting yourself and your friends in unnecessary danger, lowering your value to the social circle.
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