The persistent double standard for women
My last article was about a sexual double standard. This week, I think it is fitting to write about a gender-role double standard, especially when so many are talking about it in the Halloween season.
Dressing, or otherwise behaving like a slut, is usually used as an insult, referring to (generally) the results of two divisions. The first is whether or not a girl has self-respect and self-esteem, a more internal motivation. The second is a more ostensible reason, a girl's A) inability to use anything other than looks to hook those of the preferred sex, or B) her embrace of the physical, usually also implying her jettison of anything intellectual or "deep."
I (obviously) realize that I am a man, and I have obvious incentives to defend slutty behavior. I can tell you that I am writing this in an effort to allow us all to become more comfortable with ourselves as sexual creatures and not to convince girls to be easier, and I tell you this now.
Let us start with the girl who does not like herself. She seeks to prove her worthiness by attracting lots of sexual partners, doing so by flaunting her body. And this is an unfortunate thing, that a girl cannot rely on herself, and must seek validation from others. Why? Because it is tiring for her and those around her, and generally does not promote emotional stability and welfare. And so people suffer.
But is this behavior to be mocked or ridiculed? Not by those who genuinely wish to promote self-esteem for everyone. I am not referring to joking, where the concepts and ideas are used with no malicious intent or derogatory belief behind them. I mean the concept of thinking of a slut as worth less than another is enough for the both of you (let me be clear: That is not a fortunate thing.)
If, however, we are referring to a girl with a healthy self-esteem, who flaunts to catch (wo)men, surely she must be a lesser human being. After all, it would seem she cannot draw up a "real" connection with someone, and not because she is too busy seeking validation.
Dressing, or otherwise behaving like a slut, is usually used as an insult, referring to (generally) the results of two divisions. The first is whether or not a girl has self-respect and self-esteem, a more internal motivation. The second is a more ostensible reason, a girl's A) inability to use anything other than looks to hook those of the preferred sex, or B) her embrace of the physical, usually also implying her jettison of anything intellectual or "deep."
I (obviously) realize that I am a man, and I have obvious incentives to defend slutty behavior. I can tell you that I am writing this in an effort to allow us all to become more comfortable with ourselves as sexual creatures and not to convince girls to be easier, and I tell you this now.
Let us start with the girl who does not like herself. She seeks to prove her worthiness by attracting lots of sexual partners, doing so by flaunting her body. And this is an unfortunate thing, that a girl cannot rely on herself, and must seek validation from others. Why? Because it is tiring for her and those around her, and generally does not promote emotional stability and welfare. And so people suffer.
But is this behavior to be mocked or ridiculed? Not by those who genuinely wish to promote self-esteem for everyone. I am not referring to joking, where the concepts and ideas are used with no malicious intent or derogatory belief behind them. I mean the concept of thinking of a slut as worth less than another is enough for the both of you (let me be clear: That is not a fortunate thing.)
If, however, we are referring to a girl with a healthy self-esteem, who flaunts to catch (wo)men, surely she must be a lesser human being. After all, it would seem she cannot draw up a "real" connection with someone, and not because she is too busy seeking validation.
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