Spring Break
Satisfy your temptations, but don't overindulge
Issue date: 11/13/08
Yes, there is one aphrodisiac that I have found to be more powerful than any of the others, and this is a certain air of unavailability. Whether it's someone significantly older, an authority figure or simply someone who's just not that into you, there's something about the challenge that makes it so much more appealing.
(Note: This isn't true for everyone, some people see these obstacles as flashing warning signs and immediately turn their attentions elsewhere. And, though mature, they are no fun).
In a certain sense, going for someone who is unavailable is a safe choice: To a certain extent, you know the likelihood of becoming close to this person in any lasting manner is slim, so in a way you're protecting yourself.
On another hand, you're leaving yourself wide open for rejection, angst and frustration, and while these traits are often associated with people who are cool things, like "complicated" and "screwed up," they really just make you look like Zach Efron in the desert scene in High School Musical 2: a.k.a. the love child of Venom and The Lost Backstreet Boy.
It's easy to jump into one of these situations because chances are nothing will come of it; what's not so easy is finding your way back out if you begin to slip. And you'd be surprised how often it happens. What starts out as innocent flirtation can blossom into obsession faster than you can say "sexual attraction." And yet, this begs the question: Is it possible to have mind-blowing sexual chemistry if there is no struggle involved?
So, let's talk about sex, baby. We all know about a literal orgasm, but the fact is, good sex is rarely achieved without something extra: a mind f--k. A mind f--k is basically what it sounds like: a release of mental tension that adds to the overall pleasure of the experience. Some people can get off with a simple declaration of affection while others need a little more to get the job done. This can range anywhere from witty banter and frustrated sparring to systematically ignoring each other and actual cruelty.
(Note: This isn't true for everyone, some people see these obstacles as flashing warning signs and immediately turn their attentions elsewhere. And, though mature, they are no fun).
In a certain sense, going for someone who is unavailable is a safe choice: To a certain extent, you know the likelihood of becoming close to this person in any lasting manner is slim, so in a way you're protecting yourself.
On another hand, you're leaving yourself wide open for rejection, angst and frustration, and while these traits are often associated with people who are cool things, like "complicated" and "screwed up," they really just make you look like Zach Efron in the desert scene in High School Musical 2: a.k.a. the love child of Venom and The Lost Backstreet Boy.
It's easy to jump into one of these situations because chances are nothing will come of it; what's not so easy is finding your way back out if you begin to slip. And you'd be surprised how often it happens. What starts out as innocent flirtation can blossom into obsession faster than you can say "sexual attraction." And yet, this begs the question: Is it possible to have mind-blowing sexual chemistry if there is no struggle involved?
So, let's talk about sex, baby. We all know about a literal orgasm, but the fact is, good sex is rarely achieved without something extra: a mind f--k. A mind f--k is basically what it sounds like: a release of mental tension that adds to the overall pleasure of the experience. Some people can get off with a simple declaration of affection while others need a little more to get the job done. This can range anywhere from witty banter and frustrated sparring to systematically ignoring each other and actual cruelty.
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