Spring Break
From your local borders to your local morgues
Issue date: 12/4/08
T he recent work by accomplished novelist and first time philosopher George Montgomery has been the first thing that could be described as a philosophical classic for quite a long time. People everywhere have picked up the book due to the controversy and acclaim that has surrounded it since its release.
Montgomery set out to dispel suicide as a relief from the tedium that is life and in doing so eventually came to a completely different conclusion. This is not the first time that this has occurred in the world of the written word - many have set out to disprove certain things and ended up proving them (case and point Jonathon Friese who proved the existence of God accidentally, Titus Andronicus who accidentally proved the existence of a butter alternative and Tim "Cauliflower" Copernicus who proved the inch as a legitimate unit of measurement following a long night at the local pub), however none have ended up in the same predicament as Montgomery, namely a coffin [Reuters] or an urn [AP]. His book originally to be titled Suicide: The Illegitimate Defense eventually became simply Suicide: The Illegitimate Defense, an equally provocative title.
Due to the mystery surrounding the posthumous publication of Suicide: The Illegitimate Defense, the books have simply been flying off the shelves. "We haven't seen people running in to buy anything like this since the fall of the Berlin Wall when East Germans were showing up left and right to buy pornography," Daniel Forster, regional manager of Barnes and Noble, said. Sales are up, but Montgomery's work has also created another problem that he could not have possibly foreseen before his untimely and rather ironic death. The morgues of the United States are simply filling up at an unprecedented level. "We haven't seen people running to the morgue like this since the Great Depression; bankers are here, lawyers, college students, murder victims … Well, I guess they were here before," Jason Firster, regional manager of Jason's Fun Time Morgue, said.
Montgomery set out to dispel suicide as a relief from the tedium that is life and in doing so eventually came to a completely different conclusion. This is not the first time that this has occurred in the world of the written word - many have set out to disprove certain things and ended up proving them (case and point Jonathon Friese who proved the existence of God accidentally, Titus Andronicus who accidentally proved the existence of a butter alternative and Tim "Cauliflower" Copernicus who proved the inch as a legitimate unit of measurement following a long night at the local pub), however none have ended up in the same predicament as Montgomery, namely a coffin [Reuters] or an urn [AP]. His book originally to be titled Suicide: The Illegitimate Defense eventually became simply Suicide: The Illegitimate Defense, an equally provocative title.
Due to the mystery surrounding the posthumous publication of Suicide: The Illegitimate Defense, the books have simply been flying off the shelves. "We haven't seen people running in to buy anything like this since the fall of the Berlin Wall when East Germans were showing up left and right to buy pornography," Daniel Forster, regional manager of Barnes and Noble, said. Sales are up, but Montgomery's work has also created another problem that he could not have possibly foreseen before his untimely and rather ironic death. The morgues of the United States are simply filling up at an unprecedented level. "We haven't seen people running to the morgue like this since the Great Depression; bankers are here, lawyers, college students, murder victims … Well, I guess they were here before," Jason Firster, regional manager of Jason's Fun Time Morgue, said.
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