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But pick-up football also bears a curious dynamic. One's performance on the field demonstrates how successfully one has managed to stay in shape after the year or so of keg beer and cafeteria food that is synonymous with college life. Through my three years of playing backyard football, I've managed to narrow down the four stereotypical characters who will show up on game day:

The Natural Athlete - You did not invite this person. He was miles away when he caught the scent of competitive sports and sprinted all the way to the park to participate. The Natural Athlete lives his life under the motto "Give 110 percent" and every time he touches the ball it is a guaranteed touchdown. You kick away from him, but he will leapfrog over his teammates to gain possession and after a quarter or two, you will inevitably give up chasing him and allow him to revel in his physical glory.

The Guy Who Used to be Good at Sports - This character will roll up to the park most likely wearing his high school letterman jacket (with all the team captain and MVP pins attached). The high school state championship trophy will be attached to his car as a hood ornament. At one time, he was the god of the playing field, the ultimate jock. However, after a few years of kegstands and Easy Mac consumption while watching his personal highlight videos, the Guy Who Used to be Good at Sports has developed a significant gut. His 40-yard dash time has decreased significantly, and his once air-tight spiral is now a wobbly under-thrown heave. Noticing the extreme diminishment of his athletic ability, he will be the first one to say, "Next point wins. Let's get out of here."

The Chain Smokers - These individuals come in pairs. They make a few good plays at the beginning of the game, but their lung-wearying habit eventually gets the better of them. They seek each other out for man coverage and lazily deliver a lackluster effort for the rest of the game. Word to the wise: Drafting two Chain Smokers for your team will spell ultimate failure.

The Freight Train - This six-foot tall, 250-pound behemoth is the most terrifying character of the pick-up football saga. Once he figures out that he can plow over anyone on the field, his team will run the ball every play, defensive players bouncing off him as he trucks toward the end zone. It takes a minimum of five players to bring the Freight Train to the ground. If you have the ball and you see him coming toward you, swallow your pride and run out of bounds. You don't want to spend the rest of Thanksgiving break in the intensive care ward.

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