Spring Break
Sober Preakness is Bad Preakness
Issue date: 4/30/09
The rapid approach of the Kentucky Derby and all that is associated with it, namely hats, Thoroughbreds and mint julep chug-offs in the infield, reminds us that Baltimore's jewel in the Triple Crown, The Preakness Stakes, is rapidly approaching. The Preakness, over the past two decades, has been the race that horses winning the Kentucky Derby and losing the Belmont Stakes have romped to victory at, in front of 100,000 Baltimoreans and visitors.
However, as any true Preakness fan (not horse racing fan, Preakness fan) will tell you, horses have almost nothing to do with having a good time at what I formerly referred to as, with respect to the Gators and Dawgs, "The World's Largest Outdoor Light Beer Drinking Party." Simply put, the Preakness is not a horse-racing event, but a drinking event for nearly all of the 60,000 drunks who cram themselves into apocalyptic Hobbesian state-of-nature conditions within the chain-link fenced infield at Pimlico. For the life of the Preakness, the infield has been famous for being a place where you can bring as much beer or wine in as you want and leave your cooler, yard chair and dignity in the mud next to someone's kiddy pool full of light beers at the conclusion of the day's racing activities. One Preakness veteran says of last year, "I think I saw one horse all day." The upside of this, of course, is that Preakness is one of the most fun things a college student, or really anyone, could ever do.
That is, until this year. In their rather finite wisdom, the powers that be have ended the practice of allowing fans to bring in their own alcohol, instead opting to sell all beer inside the infield on tap. This is probably the worst news ever. The amount of fun that will be lost as a result of this decision is impossible to overstate. If fun at Preakness is a car, this is sugar in the gas tank followed by blowing up the car and crushing it with a monster truck, melting down the parts and selling them in China. The essence of Preakness infield was drinking with your closest 10 or 11 friends and 59,990 other associates who are available to you, should your conversation lull. At the very least, this will make it difficult for underage Preakness fans to acquire alcohol, which will have a strong deterrent effect on amount of fun had.
However, as any true Preakness fan (not horse racing fan, Preakness fan) will tell you, horses have almost nothing to do with having a good time at what I formerly referred to as, with respect to the Gators and Dawgs, "The World's Largest Outdoor Light Beer Drinking Party." Simply put, the Preakness is not a horse-racing event, but a drinking event for nearly all of the 60,000 drunks who cram themselves into apocalyptic Hobbesian state-of-nature conditions within the chain-link fenced infield at Pimlico. For the life of the Preakness, the infield has been famous for being a place where you can bring as much beer or wine in as you want and leave your cooler, yard chair and dignity in the mud next to someone's kiddy pool full of light beers at the conclusion of the day's racing activities. One Preakness veteran says of last year, "I think I saw one horse all day." The upside of this, of course, is that Preakness is one of the most fun things a college student, or really anyone, could ever do.
That is, until this year. In their rather finite wisdom, the powers that be have ended the practice of allowing fans to bring in their own alcohol, instead opting to sell all beer inside the infield on tap. This is probably the worst news ever. The amount of fun that will be lost as a result of this decision is impossible to overstate. If fun at Preakness is a car, this is sugar in the gas tank followed by blowing up the car and crushing it with a monster truck, melting down the parts and selling them in China. The essence of Preakness infield was drinking with your closest 10 or 11 friends and 59,990 other associates who are available to you, should your conversation lull. At the very least, this will make it difficult for underage Preakness fans to acquire alcohol, which will have a strong deterrent effect on amount of fun had.
Viewing Comments 1 - 4 of 7
Yeah
posted 5/02/09 @ 1:58 AM EST
Wow, J.H.U., eh? Class act. I was against getting rid of the whole BYOB thing until you opened your fat, retarded, spoon-in-mouth hand.
Chucking beer cans into the air for 'shi*@ & giggles'! So awesome!
Maybe without BYOB @ the Preakness it won't be so representative of Baltimore anymore. (Continued…)
Scott
posted 5/04/09 @ 6:50 PM EST
This article did a great job of convincing me that it was a wise decision to eliminate BYOB from the infield at the Preakness.
By the way, to the previous commenter. (Continued…)
Cool
posted 5/07/09 @ 2:30 PM EST
Hold on I'm still applauding the previous two posters' excellent stabs at criticism. Such mature, well thought out and brilliantly executed critique! It's nice that you locals read the Hopkins Newsletter and are deeply offended that intelligent, educated people exist in the world and have access to the resources of an institution like Hopkins. (Continued…)
Baltimore Movers
posted 5/07/09 @ 4:28 PM EST
It seems clear that opinions on this issue are mixed and conflicting. I'm sure that some people agree with the author but obviously enough people disagree that they took the time to leave a comment and let it be known. (Continued…)
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