Spring Break, Baltimore Style
Now, it's been a while since you've read the delightful advice about being Baltimorean. However, since Spring Break is around the corner, I'm going to give you all the Baltimore hotspots to put up your feet and relax.
Be prepared, this automatically precludes all international and transcontinental trips, sorry. In fact, it pretty much precludes all vacation spots outside the tri-state area.
Unless of course, you are a part of the upper-class elite and can afford to go anywhere, but let's face it: the Alps and French Riviera aren't nearly as spectacular as some locales only a few miles due east.
First, being Baltimorean means accepting weather. You are not going to be able to escape to Cancun for a delightful, booze-laden week of frolicking and revelry on a beach with beautiful women. You won't be able to slide down snow banks on breath-snatching, mile-high mountains and then warm up by the fire or in the hot tub.
You are going to accept the fact that it is going to be a cool 50 degrees the entire week and you are going to like it. I'm going to list this in order of socioeconomic status starting with white collar and moseying on down to crimson-redneck.
So for those of you who want to be white collar Baltimoreans of "discerning taste" you're going to head down to the Outer Banks. I know absolutely nothing about it because I don't go there.
All I know is that you will show your delight in vacationing there by emblazoning your white-collar status through the letters OBX on your bumper in a delightful sticker that doesn't make any lettering sense. Last time I checked: there is no "X" in "outer" or "banks," so how the sloganeers came up with that one is beyond me.
Moving on: Rehoboth Beach, Delaware is almost at the same level of collardness as Outer Banks except for the fact that it is a little closer by.
What makes Rehoboth (the yokels leave out the "Beach" part) better than some other spots is the level of classiness. It has cute little shops and boutiques. The restaurants are generally more delicious for being a tourist-oriented resort town. The beaches are a tad bit cleaner.
Be prepared, this automatically precludes all international and transcontinental trips, sorry. In fact, it pretty much precludes all vacation spots outside the tri-state area.
Unless of course, you are a part of the upper-class elite and can afford to go anywhere, but let's face it: the Alps and French Riviera aren't nearly as spectacular as some locales only a few miles due east.
First, being Baltimorean means accepting weather. You are not going to be able to escape to Cancun for a delightful, booze-laden week of frolicking and revelry on a beach with beautiful women. You won't be able to slide down snow banks on breath-snatching, mile-high mountains and then warm up by the fire or in the hot tub.
You are going to accept the fact that it is going to be a cool 50 degrees the entire week and you are going to like it. I'm going to list this in order of socioeconomic status starting with white collar and moseying on down to crimson-redneck.
So for those of you who want to be white collar Baltimoreans of "discerning taste" you're going to head down to the Outer Banks. I know absolutely nothing about it because I don't go there.
All I know is that you will show your delight in vacationing there by emblazoning your white-collar status through the letters OBX on your bumper in a delightful sticker that doesn't make any lettering sense. Last time I checked: there is no "X" in "outer" or "banks," so how the sloganeers came up with that one is beyond me.
Moving on: Rehoboth Beach, Delaware is almost at the same level of collardness as Outer Banks except for the fact that it is a little closer by.
What makes Rehoboth (the yokels leave out the "Beach" part) better than some other spots is the level of classiness. It has cute little shops and boutiques. The restaurants are generally more delicious for being a tourist-oriented resort town. The beaches are a tad bit cleaner.
Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 2
John B
posted 3/19/10 @ 9:55 PM EST
Weak. Just a waste of space and my time reading it.
Skull and Crossbones t-shirt
posted 5/11/10 @ 6:25 PM EST
Not quite. There are some interesting points there...
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